My kids are only slightly twisted

Long before I came to Japan, some good friends introduced me to this blog, (now called) Gaijin Smash. It's effen' hilarious, and since I got here, I started following the writer's habit of giving my students nicknames that never leave the inside of my head.

But first I think I need to explain. I'm horrible at learning someone's name. Now multiply that by about 270, in a new country, with names that are foreign to me and are written in difficult kanji, for kids I only see in class about once a week, so I need a way to try to remember at least some of them.

So yeah, mnemonic device is my excuse.

And it's fun.

Ernie - No kidding, this kid looks just like Ernie from Sesame Street! Even down to the sideways-oval nose and bushy hair. He's a sweet kid and really good at English. I once spent an entire cleaning period playing tag with him around the shoe cubbies, and not a word was spoken. It was legendary.

Satchmo - She's always got this sour look on her face, and her real name kind of sounds like her nickname. She's got not motivation to do her classwork and hangs out with the mean girls who tease her. I can't describe it, she just is a "Satchmo".

Yotusba - It means 4-leaf in Japanese. This girl wears her hair in 4 ponytails every single day (though sometimes just the top two). She also looks a little like a grown-up version of a manga character with the same name and hairstyle.

The Masked Mumbler - That's exactly what she does and is. People here wear surgical masks whenever they're sick, and some kids wear them when they don't want to get sick. She's worn one since November.
So that, together with the fact that her shtick is to always answer me with a rough, mumbled approximation of English while bouncing up and down and flapping her hands, makes her the perfect 1960s Batman villian.

But her other name is: I Love Porno.
Wait, let me explain. Emblazoned on her pencil box, in big, Arial font letters are the words, "I <3 PORNO". And it's, like, handmade. As in, she traced and cut the letters out of colored paper and carefully taped them onto her pencil box.
One day in class, I picked it up and started looking at it. I didn't say a word or make a face, just picked it up. She immediately called for the English teacher and asked him to help her explain. Apparently she's a big fan of the band Porno Graffitti. -_-;;

Hold on. So that means she understands what it means and what people's first thoughts will be when they see it and she still displays it proudly on her desk every day? Yeah, she's a silly kid.

Keep in mind I don't actually call them this. And, yay, it works! I can remember every one of these kid's names.

(Except for Masked Mumbler. Sorry, Porno-chan.)